Sharing

This page is dedicated to creative Ke-Alians who would like to share memories. There is space on this Web site to include contributions of thoughts, ideas, and memories. This Web site welcomes contributions from individuals who agree to a few ground rules:

1. "Snail mail" your written input to: M Richards, 1858 Trudie Dr., Rancho Palos Verdes, CA 90275.

2. Include your e-mail address and home phone. If editing the piece for spelling, grammar, and size is required, I will contact you with any changes for your approval before the piece is published on the Web site.

3. Every attempt will be made to publish a contribution within one week of author's submission.

4. Depending on the number of contributions, there may be enough space for the contributor to include a photograph or two.

5. The name of the author will be included with every contribution.  Those who would like their e-mail addresses published may so state.

6. The size of any contribution, as well as the duration of its publication, is solely at the discretion of the editor of this sharing page.

The sharing page begins with a contribution from a very special person.

Nancy Wells

It's been fun to look back through the 1973 Black and Gold yearbook because you were a precedent setting class. I don't remember who suggested your class name but I know the administration was skeptical about translating the Hawaiian language. (I just saw "The Big Fat Greek Wedding"; so I hope the Ke-Alian part really means royal). Your class’s uniqueness began with your name and included another precedent: co-presidents, Wendy and Steve. The school administration was concerned about that because the then all-male Kiwanis Club in town extended a luncheon invitation to only the male class president. Jake and I decided that if the class voted for class co-presidents; both Wendy and Steve should attend, or neither one. One of the administrators tried to explain to Jake and me that the Kiwani’s meant “males only.” I remember that both were, ultimately, guests.

And, finally, on this issue of sexism, one of the graduation speakers who had met all the criteria to speak was to be omitted from the position on the advice of another faculty member. Again, Jake and I explained that since the rules for selection had been followed, the elected speaker would fulfill the responsibility for which he had been selected or we would not be a part of the ceremony. So Ed Farrell spoke for the class from the platform. My memory is fuzzy because I'm 30 years older, too, and I don't have the ambition to check my journals, which are buried in the garage.

But I was asked to remember Jake Kosheba. I hope you can see from the first paragraph that we were a team.  We had also been co-sponsors for other classes. He was not only a fine teacher, who later became a great member of the vice-principal's office, but he was a good friend. He and I would exchange "reluctant" students sometimes. Jake would sent one to me with a well-stapled note, "Please keep this boy (or girl) and send a pencil with her/him back to me. We did that to avoid writing Referral Notices.

Picture depicts both Nancy and Jake holding the flag as
well as modeling the two types of sweaters.

On the side, Jake was a travel agent. Thanks to his influence and expertise some of the faculty, including me, were able to take trips that were wonderful: the Bahamas and Hawaii, for instance. He was also a compassionate son and brother. He went "back home" whenever he could and I would drive him to the airport. Once, I arrived on a Saturday morning and he couldn't find his house keys and was afraid he had thrown them out with the trash. While he re-searched his apartment, I climbed into the dumpster to try to find them. So, of course, he teased me ever after as a "dumpster diver.”

We were colleagues at a time when there was a most wonderful faculty. We cherished our friendships and our professional abilities and we enjoyed our TGIF parties. Your class was a high priority to us, and a voluntary extra assignment for us, and I will always keep Jake alive in my memories. Many of you have learned, I'm sure, that some friendships and mutual admiration relationships are, probably, critically important in our lives.

Jake and I, both good UTLA members, threatened to file a grievance against one of the counselors who refused to give Military Academy applications to the female students who requested them. You were the first Title IX class. (Title IX mandated that equality be emphasized in public education). So, for me, Jake Kosheba is a memorable “Man among Men,” and he is still missed by me, and ever so many others.

Editor's note: Nancy Wells taught at San Pedro High School from 1968 until the spring of 1991. She continues to teach at the junior college level, and spends countless hours enriching the personhood of everyone she meets.

David Graham's Memorial

David Findlay Graham passed away early Sunday morning August 3, 2003.

David is survived by his wife Ann, son James, parents Findlay and Lizbeth, sister Francis, numerous nieces and nephews, and hundreds of co-workers and friends who loved him.

David was a California State Parks Ranger at Hearst Castle at the time of his passing. Specifically, "Ranger Dave" was a K-9 handler. David's dog, Xito, specialized in bomb detection. The team of Ranger Dave and Xito was an award winning combination of handler and dog.

Memorial services for David were held on Friday August 8, 2003 at Hearst State Beach, San Simeon California.

On a beautifully clear and calm Friday afternoon, several hundred people honored David's memory with the most remarkable services I have ever experienced.

The first service was held on the beautiful lawn above Hearst State Beach, across Highway 1 from Hearst Castle. At the podium on the lawn were a wreath and a "long board", which was Dave's surfboard. With the blue Pacific Ocean as a background and with sea lions and whales swimming in the bay, the service began with a procession of vehicles led by the California Highway Patrol that included the family and friends' cars and fourteen State Park Ranger K-9 vehicles. Also in the procession were K-9 units from other law enforcement agencies, fire department trucks, and other police vehicles.

An honor guard escorted the family to their seats and it appeared more than one hundred State Park Rangers stood at attention. A command was given and all the K-9 handlers and dogs from all the agencies represented moved forward to honor David's memory.

The service was led by a California State Park Ranger. The service was largely informal and began with a humorous remark. David had been the immediate past president of the Los Osos Rotary Club. The Ranger leading the service went to a meeting of the Rotary Club and had been fined for an infraction of some kind. After thanking everyone for coming to the service, the Ranger asked if there were any Rotarians present and would they please raise their hands. The Rotarians raised their hands and the Ranger fined them all and instructed them to give a donation. This brought the first of many laughs during a service that also brought many tears.

Many people got up to speak about David and how he had enriched their lives and the quality of the K-9 corps at Hearst Castle. Dave's nephew Anthony rose to tearfully speak how much David meant to him. Anthony also told us all about the last time he saw his Uncle Dave.

Anthony visited Dave a few days before he passed away. Dave had previously been on steroids and he not only had gained the weight he lost during chemotherapy, but he gained much more weight and bulk. Dave was at a point where he was bedridden and could no longer speak. Anthony went into the room and seeing Dave laying in a bed but looking so large, Anthony commented how good Dave looked. Dave simply looked up at his nephew and flipped him off!

Stories similar to Anthony's were common among the almost twenty people who rose to speak about their relationship to Dave. Dave's graveyard shift partner relayed the story of how one night Dave and Xito were patrolling the Castle and they found a fan on in W.R. Hearst's bedroom. Dave turned the fan off. The fan went back on. Dave shut the fan off a second time. The fan went back on again. Dave turned the fan off a second time and then said, "Now cut that out, Bill". The fan did not turn back on.

After an hour of testimonials about David, the service was nearing an end. The Ranger who led the service went to the podium and asked us all to stand and have a minute of silence to remember David. After the minute, the Ranger asked us to remain standing and to look and listen. A few moments of looking and listening brought us a flyover by two airplanes and one helicopter from the California Highway Patrol to honor Dave.

We sat down after the remarkable flyover and listened to several songs played on a Scottish bagpipe. This was a very moving time as we heard Scottish hymns and "Amazing Grace" played beautifully in the warm afternoon sun.

The service ended with a woman rising to the podium to sing a traditional Scottish hymn.

After this service, it was time to move to the ocean, which is a place where David was so much at home.

Many people walked out onto the pier to view the next service. The wind had picked up, but the sea lions and whales were still easily visible.

David's nephew Anthony, many friends, and also former co-workers of Dave's from his lifeguard days donned wet suits and made their way out onto the ocean using surf boards, kayak, and lifeguard paddleboards.

This service on the ocean could not be heard well by those of us standing on the pier, but it was very touching to see how the friends made a circle in the water to celebrate David's life. I know a song was sung and all who went out onto the ocean carried flowers to place on the sea.

After the two services at Hearst State Beach there was a reception at the Los Osos recreation center. Generous volunteers catered this remembrance. A large cake was offered with David's Ranger badge made of icing. Stories about David were heard throughout the gathering. Many laughs were shared.

At the time of this writing, no memorial has been planned for David in Southern California.

David and I would never be able to tell you when we first met. We were too young. Our moms probably sat us down on the hardwood floors of our houses and let us get acquainted. We grew up across the street from each other. David was my first friend. We played as little boys did, growing up from the late 1950's through the late 1960's. Dave and I were very close when we were very young. We had a screeching call we would use to attract the other's attention from one house to the other. We didn't need the telephone. We played in his fort, "Falconhurst" which he and his dad built in their back yard. Dave had an electric train set that was suspended from the garage ceiling so it could be raised to put a car in the garage. Dave and I collected and played with "Matchbox" cars. One day we rode our 10-speed bikes to Knott's Berry Farm just to see if we could. After staying there a short while we wondered if we could ride to Disneyland. We made it into the Magic Kingdom after we locked our bikes to the fence. Two parks in one day, riding from our homes…and back.

It is no coincidence that my older son is named David, too.

When Dave was about nine years old he joined the swimming program at the Y.M.C.A. Water was life to Dave. He excelled in everything he did in the water. Dave and his dad built a sabot, which is a very small sail boat. Dave was a junior lifeguard long before he became a L.A. County Lifeguard. Dave held at least one high school record that I know of. Dave did underwater search and rescue for the county. Dave played water polo. Dave surfed. Boy did Dave surf. Dave made some of his own surfboards. The smell of the resin used on the fiberglass will always remind me of Dave.

Dave was accomplished, gifted, funny, and loved. He loved life and was grateful for each day he was given. He faced his brain tumor with a mighty force. He used grace and dignity to fight his battles.

Dave is already missed.

Submitted by Mark Wells.

"Ode to Dave"
By Kurt Wilson Cruger

Never have I known a man...like Dave,
A Husband, a Father, a Son, he did rave.

Friends he had many, like a brother to us few.
A man you could trust with all that you knew.

He led with his heart, only doing his best,
A man of his word, always up to the test.

He loved life to the fullest like when he's catching a wave.
There is no better man...than our friend Dave.

He wouldn't want is to be sad, but to celebrate his life.
So speak of him often, especially to his son and his wife.

Dave, though your years were cut short,
you legacy will grow strong.
Your words were your mettle; and
will be remembered for long.

He was true to his beliefs, a man who stood Brave,
The world was a better place...with our friend Dave.

Thank You Dave, for being my friend, I love you Bro!

Editor's note: The poem written by Kurt is from the following book of poetry: "The Colors of Life". Copyright 2003 by the International Library of Poetry, IBSN 0-7957-5239-6.
"Ode to Dave" won the award for poem of the month for October, 2003 from Poetry.com and the first poem appearing in the book.

Kurt met Dave while they both attended Cal Poly San Luis Obispo. They became instant friends while at school and celebrated their graduation with a big party that included both of their families.
Even when miles and careers separated the two friends, they remained close with numerous adventures throughout the last two and a half decades.

For his heartfelt words for Ke-Alian Dave Graham, The Webmaster of
this site awards Mr. Kurt Cruger the title:
"Honorary Ke-Alian".